Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
