I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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