11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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