It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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