3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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