Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
