I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
