Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
