And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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