the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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