ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
