My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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