then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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