8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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