so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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