Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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