I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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