ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
