turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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