I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
