Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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