Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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