So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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