Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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