what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
