Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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