Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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