you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
