If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
