So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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