We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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