I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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