one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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