i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
