Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I have fence marks all over my body
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
