come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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