I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
