One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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