Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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