It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
