I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have fence marks all over my body
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
