I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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