I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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