Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
