either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
