I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
