I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
