I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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