Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
