all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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