your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
