Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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