i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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