I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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