I must be too annoying 4 u.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize