You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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