Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
