honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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