You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
