he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
