I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
