so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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