If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
